The military two-step

Little Billy Vague, schoolboy foreign secretary and part-time Gollum-a-like, has been talking this week about his favourite dance moves.

He told the Daily Hellegraph, “I’ve always loved the hokey cokey, and, whenever one of my chums has a party, I can’t wait for the dancing to start. After 15 pints, I’m mad for it”.

When the Hagiograph’s journalist questioned him further on this preference with a forensic intensity, suggesting that perhaps the hokey cokey was a little juvenile, Vague reacted swiftly, expressing himself with the kind of eloquence that has secured his place as this administration’s finest Foreign Secretary so far.

“Au contraire! It’s really an allegory for political thought. Take the current government. We put the right boot in, and we let the Lib Dumbs leave their left side out.”

Furthermore, according to the Hellebore, the hokey cokey informs current government policy on Afghanistan too.

“Last week, David Cameroon took the whole troops out by 2015, and then the put the whole force back because there’s no guaranteed timetable. Today, I’m taking the whole military out again by 2014. There’s an election in 2015 after all – and that’s what it’s all about”.